Problems to Possibilities

One of the reasons we become stressed is that we take on too much.  Whether it is responsibilities, things, or relationships, somehow it becomes more than we can handle, and before we know it, we feel overwhelmed.  We generally take on more than we can handle due to feelings of obligation or guilt, and/or unrealistic perceptions or expectations.  For example, we may engage in certain activities because we believe that’s what we should do, or purchase more things because that shows that we are successful, or even be in certain relationships that are not fulfilling because not doing so may hurt the other person.  Unfortunately, when we do this, we overwhelm ourselves with people, things, and situations that drain us of our energy.

One way to counter or deal with stress is to simplify your life.  I refer to simplification an art.  For most of us, “simplifying” does not come easy and it’s a skill that must be learned and mastered.  Like any art form, it must be practiced with regularity.

I’ve found that there are three essential steps to simplifying your life:

1. Identify and make a list of the “energy drainers.”  This can be things/objects you own that no longer provide value, but you continue to spend time/money on for upkeep, activities that you are doing that are no longer enjoyable or you do just for the sake of doing (and no, I’m not referring to your responsibilities, although you may want to look at some of that and ask yourself whether they are actually your responsibilities).  Another area that can be stressful are your relationships.  Are they mutually satisfying or draining?
2. Eliminate the “energy drainers” or think about how to change the situation.  I realize that you may not want to or even be able to eliminate certain activities, objects, or relationships, however, are there ways you can modify how you handle them.  With relationships, it may mean setting better boundaries or limiting your interactions with the other person(s).  If you are feeling overwhelmed by unproductive activities, it may involve scaling back and selecting the 1-2 that you find most enjoyable.  When looking at your responsibilities, consider whether they are actually what you need to do.  Are you taking on something that someone else should or can do?  What is that you really need to do?  With objects (i.e., things you own), go over them and ask yourself, if you need them—what you want to live with and what you can not do without.  Consider whether the item adds value to your life.  If not, toss it, sell it, or give it away.
3. Continually assess your level of stress.  Simplifying your life is more of a process than a state of being.  We are constantly bombarded with more to do and things to have that it becomes easy to take on more . . . again.

The point is that your life may never be carefree. It’s about learning to differentiate between what is important or of value to you and what you can (or sometimes must) let go.